The Bandroom
by The Masked Cokie
Summary: Crazy stories of things that have at least SORT OF happened in my band.
1. Jack's Joke

Note: I don't own the original joke, nor do I own the band. But I do plan on conducting it some day.  
  
It was a perfectly normal day in the band room. Sarah was jumping off the stairs onto her flute case and falling on her face, Katie was laughing at her, and the rest of the band was too-except the drummers, because they were looking for their drum sticks.  
A transfer student came in. Nobody seemed to notice, as Sarah was about to make a jump from the highest stair. But Mr. R., the band teacher, was now looking at her. She smiled wickedly and sat down.  
Somehow, the new girl ended up next to me, but I said nothing. The only other option was to sit next to Sarah, but she's not real stable. Besides, she doesn't talk.  
Anyway, we were practicing our marching music, to get it clean. When we finished the first tune, John stood up and yelled out: "39!"  
Everybody laughed. John was definitely the funniest guy in the band.  
We played the second tune, a color guard feature. At the end, Sarah turned to Katie and whispered something. Kate stood up and repeated Sarah's words. "9!"  
The new girl gave me a strange look, so I explained.  
"See, we all spend so much time in the band room that we know ALL the jokes, so one afternoon we sat down and numbered them. Now we just say the numbers."  
She nodded as if she understood.  
We played the third tune, and at the end, the new girl stood up. "18!" she said.  
All noise stopped. The whole band stared at her, even Mr. R.  
"What? What did I do wrong?"  
I just shrugged. "Some people don't know how to tell a joke." 


	2. 30 Second Movies

Disclaimer: I don't own any movies. None at all.  
  
It was a long trip to the competition. 45 minutes. (All right, so it wasn't that long. In fact, it was the shortest.)  
But still, Bandies get board, and so Jen, my best buddy, came up with an idea.  
"They're called 30-second movies!" Jack announced. "Jen can quote any movie you want in thirty seconds! In fact, Sarah says . . ." he grabbed my notebook. "'It's amazing how much of the movie is taken up by background music.'"  
"Any requests?" Jen asked.  
I raised my hand and finger spelled the movie I love the most.  
"All right! Lilo and Stitch it is!"  
It doesn't matter that she had no idea what I signed. She knows the movie I like.  
"Ohana. Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten."  
I smiled. That is the best line.  
"Does Stitch have to go in ship? Yes. Can Stitch say goodbye? Yes . . . who are these people? This is my family. I found it all by myself. Is little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good."  
'30' seconds went by.  
We hear The Stitch Movie.  
She paused. "Coconut cake and coffee!"  
Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the ring.  
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.  
"Those filthy little Hobbitses!"  
Harry Potter.  
For some reason I think that she's going over her 30 seconds.  
I point to my stopwatch as she finishes up the second Harry Potter movie. It reads 5 minuets and 29 seconds.  
"Yeah," Jack says, "but your watch is five minuets fast, remember?" 


	3. The Deaf Girl

"Mr. R., there's a deaf girl in band."  
"No there isn't."  
"Yes there is!" the freshman insisted.  
"There isn't."  
"You probably didn't ever notice, but this girl communicates through sign language!"  
Mr. R. looks at me, a look I can't quite decipher.  
"I swear, she's deaf! Doesn't speak a word of English."  
"She does," Mr. R. says, going back to his paperwork. "I've heard her."  
"No, this girl is deaf. She doesn't speak at ALL!"  
  
Well, Mr. R. wasn't too happy about that. He'd like it better if I spoke and he makes it quite clear. Later that morning, the new girl asked me my name. I fingerspelled it.  
"Whoa! Go slower!"  
I do, and then someone tells her my name.  
"Mr. R.," she says, approaching the teacher. "How do you teach a deaf girl?"  
Not even looking my direction, he hit his head against the podium.  
It was then I knew the truth: I was in so much trouble. 


End file.
